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TonyCasamento69

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Reply with quote  #76 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BroJoe
...the Board of Trustees warned math professors to be more explicit in the wording of examinations but was hesitant to suggest how.


Not a very bright board.  The problem should have been to find the value of x, not x.

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Tony Casamento '69
laguna_b

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Reply with quote  #77 
Tony,
This is a levity thread! Don't you get it?

Barry


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TonyCasamento69

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Reply with quote  #78 
Quote:
Originally Posted by laguna_b
Tony,
This is a levity thread! Don't you get it?

Barry



Yes, I just happen to think that the cartoon by itself makes the point. The text is superfluous. "Brevity is the soul of wit." I actually used this when I was teaching Algebra to make a point.

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Tony Casamento '69
laguna_b

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Reply with quote  #79 
Tony,
I totally agree, it is the minimalist that really makes the humor sting.....
Barry


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FXOC66

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Reply with quote  #80 

bs

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Reply with quote  #81 
>The Boston Globe
>August 30, 2006
>
>Roxbury MA (AP) - A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a Boston
>courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should
>have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents
>and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in
>keeping with child custody law and regulations
>requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.
>
>The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more
>than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge
>then suggested that he live with his
>grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.
>
>After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that
>domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took
>the unprecedented step of allowing the
>boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check
>legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted
>temporary custody to the Boston Red Sox, whom the boy firmly believes is
>not capable of beating anyone.

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BroJoe

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Reply with quote  #82 

 

 


Subject: History Lesson

Many will recall that on July 8, 1947, witnesses claim an unidentified Object with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico.
 
This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the US Air Force and the federal government.
 
However, you may well NOT know that in the month of March 1948, exactly nine months after that historic day, Albert Arnold Gore, Jr.; Hillary Rodham; John F. Kerry; William Jefferson Clinton; Howard Dean; Nancy Pelosi; Dianne Feinstein; Charles E. Schumer; and Barbara Boxer were born.
 
That piece of information has now cleared up a lot of things

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Bro. Joe
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Reply with quote  #83 

 

 


 

  ----- A boys first time..


        A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night


        & have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a


        big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that


        after dinner, she would like to go out & make love


        for the first time.



        * * * * * * * * *

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex  before,

 

 

so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get



some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time &


 the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.


 He tells the boy everything there is to know
   about condoms and sex.

       
* * * * * * * * *
       
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many


condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family


 pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he


thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time & all.

       
* * * * * * * * *

        That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents


        house & meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm


       so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"


        * * * * * * * * *

        The boy goes inside & is taken to the dinner table


        where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly


        offers to say grace & bows his head.
       
* * * * * * * * *
       
A minute passes, & the boy is still deep in prayer,

        with his head down.
       
* * * * * * * * *
       
10 minutes pass, & still no movement from the boy.

   
* * * * * * * * *
       
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the


        girlfriend leans over & whispers to the

        boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

       
* * * * * * * *
       
The boy turns, & whispers back, "I had no idea your

        father was a pharmacist."
       
* * * * * * * * *
       

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Bro. Joe
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Reply with quote  #84 

 

Nymphomaniac. 
 
 
Airplane Seat Companion 
 
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in he  glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized that she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he 
blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?" 
 
She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Chicago."He swallowed hard.
Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs! 

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at the convention?" "Lecturer," she responded. "I am the lead lecturer where I use information that I have learned from my own 
personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality." 
 
"Really?"! he said "and what kinds of myths are there?" 

 "Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of 
Jewish descent that are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with the absolutely best stamina is the Southern Redneck." 
 
Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all this with you." "I don't even know your name." 
 
"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein.
But my friends call me Bubba." 

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Lynda73

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Reply with quote  #85 

 

A  man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous  redhead sitting at  the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the  nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass  eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the  air, and hands it back.
 "Oh my, I am so sorry,  " the  woman says as she pops her eye back in place.  "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she  says.
 They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and  afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.  After paying for everything, she asks  him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for  breakfast. They had a  wonderful, wonderful time.
 The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with  all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible! "You know, "he said, "you are the perfect woman.  Are you this nice to every guy you meet? "
 
"No, "she replies. . .  "
                                                                              (Wait for it. )
                                                                               ( It's coming. )
                                                 (The suspense is killing you, isn't it?)
 She  says:   "You  just happened to catch my eye."

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Reply with quote  #86 

Quasimodo is retiring, so the Abbot of Notre Dame decides to hold auditions for a new bell ringer. Because it’s a good job with health benefits thousands of peasant show up at the Cathedral for the tryouts. The line of applicants runs from the belfry, down the tower, through the Cathedral and snakes through the plaza outside. After a few days, the friars have had observed all but the last applicant and were ready to made their choice. Everyone dismissed the last applicant because he had no arms and therefore couldn’t pull the ropes of the bells.

 

Well, one kindly friar took pity on the armless applicant who had constantly been pushed back in the line by those with arms, and convinced the abbot to give him a brief audition. The armless man looked at the various bells and read the bell music then ran headlong into one bell after another. As his face struck the bell housings they made the most beautiful music ever heard at Notre Dame. The astounded Abbot hired him on the spot and asked him to be ready for a great festival to be held the next day. The poor armless fellow memorized all the music and started practicing, crashing from one bell to another.

 

Dizzied from hours of running into bells, the poor fellow stumbled, missed one bell, and plunged from the belfry 350 feet to the plaza below killing him instantly. The authorities showed up to make a report and of course asked, “Does anyone know this fellows name?”  It appeared no one did as no one answered. Then after a moment the kindly friar who had secured him the audition stepped forward and said,…..

 

(This could be worse than Lynda’s)

 

(Are you ready?)

 

….the kindly friar who had secured him the audition stepped forward and said, “I don’t know his name.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…………BUT HIS FACE SURE RINGS A BELL!”


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BroJoe

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Reply with quote  #87 

 

 

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned.

The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body, because he was too skinny. His
wife's tissue type was a match, so she offered to donate some of her own skin.

However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her
buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from and they
requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face.
He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about
his youthful beauty!

One day, he was alone with his wife and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice.

He said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay
you"?

"My darling," she replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the
cheek!"


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KathiMurphyBayer

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Reply with quote  #88 

Bro. Joe - An oldie but still funny.  Thanks for all the giggles 

 

Kathi


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TerrencePTuffyLSA69

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Reply with quote  #89 
EH! I told an "oldie but goodie" back on page 3. Whad'ja think? Funny huh?
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Book of Sirach 5:10
Marie

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Reply with quote  #90 

  Yes , Terry  Very funny!!!!


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