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BroJoe

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Agenda for the Democratic National Convention for 2008

7:00 P.M . Opening flag burning.


7:15 P.M. Pledge of allegiance to U.N.


7:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast


7:30 till 8:00 P.M. Nonreligious prayer and worship.        Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton.


8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.


8:05 P.M. Ceremonial tree hugging.


8:15- 8:30 P.M. Gay Wedding-- Barney Frank Presiding

.
8:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.


8:35 P.M. Free Saddam Rally. Cindy Sheehan-- Susan    Sarandon.

 
9:00 P.M. Keynote speech. The proper etiquette for surrender


demonstrated by French President Jacques Chirac


9:15 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.


9:20 P.M. Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund


9:30 P.M. Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay presented by Sean Penn


9:40 P.M. Why I hate the Military, A short talk by William Jefferson Clinton


9:45 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast


9:50 P.M. Dan Rather presented Truth in Broadcasting award, presented by Michael Moore


9:55 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast


10:00 P.M. How George  Bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center Towers-- Howard Dean

 
10:30 P.M. Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Mahmud Ahmadinejad


11:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast


11:05 P.M. Al Gore reinvents Internet


11:15 P.M . Our Troops are War criminals , a diatribe by John Kerry

 
11:30 P.M. Coronation Of Mrs. Rodham Clinton


12:00 A.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

 

 


12:05 A.M. Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home

 


 


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Bro. Joe
BrianODowd73

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Somehow, I fail to see the humor in all that.

laguna_b

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Reply with quote  #3 
Brian, your problem is you are not  named Rush.......you have to be a true believer to find this humorous....clearly, it's author is lost in dogma.

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BroJoe

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 Subject: Clinton - Gore - Bush
 
 
 
 
       Bill Clinton, Al Gore and George W. Bush went to a fitness spa for some   fun.  
  
       After a stimulating, healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the men's room where they found a strange-looking gent sitting at the entrance.  

        He said:  "Welcome to the gentlemen's room.  Be sure to check out our   newest feature, a mirror that, if you look into it   and say something truth ful, you will be rewarded with your wish. 
 
         But be warned, if you say something false,  you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!"
 
       The three men quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, Bill Clinton   stepped up and said, "I think I'm the most intelligent of us three," and he suddenly found the keys to a brand new Bentley in his hands.
 
       Al Gore stepped up and said, "I think I'm the most ambitious of us three," and in an instant, he was surrounded by a pile of money to fund his next Presidential Campaign.
 
       Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, George W. Bush looked into the mirror and said, "I think...," and was promptly sucked into the
mirror.

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Bro. Joe
Joyce

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Reply with quote  #5 
Dear Bro. Joe:  Even though I don't respond often enought to your brand of humor, I think it's hilarious!!  I was falling off my seat laughing.  Those who fail to see the humor in this have no sense of humor at all!! Keep up the good work. You make my day!  Joyce

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Joyce
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Reply with quote  #6 

Bro. Joe,

 

I have to concur with my classmate, Joyce.  Keep up the humor of all sorts!

 

Eileen D. '70

DanWillett67

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A woman in a hot air balloon  realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat  below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I  would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man  consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a  Republican."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you  know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man  smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat."

"I am," replied the  balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know  where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a  large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to  keep, and you expect ME to solve your problem. You're in EXACTLY the same position you were in before we met, but somehow now, it's MY  fault



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Reply with quote  #8 

Bro. Joe's posting may be overcome by events. Senator Obama looks like he may make a hard run at the nomination. That might be trouble for Hillary.

 

Personally, I'm rooting for Hillary. We haven't had a New Yorker in the White House since FDR.

 

Hillary is a New Yorker, isn't she?

TerrencePTuffyLSA69

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Reply with quote  #9 
Rich, this is the "Political Humor??" thread. What you said wasn't funny.

Anyone see Bill O'Reilly on Oprah yesterday. He was great!

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laguna_b

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Reply with quote  #10 
While I am a GREAT admirer of BILL Clinton, Hillary is increasingly looking like a just a sharp politico. Her BEST asset is BILL as an advisor. Obama is definitely looking better both as a candidate and as a president. After the current clown though, ANYONE is a giant step up. Ok, it is for political HUMOR, I got the political half right....

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Reply with quote  #11 

Terrence, I think everything on this thread is funny, even Brian's post that he does not see the humor in Bro. Joe's original post.

 

As the only northeasterner in my office (the northeast being roughly defined as anything east of Indiana and north of Virginia), I am asked about Hillary frequently. Since I have not lived in nor voted in NY since 1972, I am a little out of touch. The only thing I can offer is she is the latest in a long line of carpetbaggers.

 

And Barry, don't sell Hillary short. Without her, Bill would probably be a washed-up ambulance chaser in Little Rock today, not a guy commanding six-figure speaking fees. Her ambition got Bill to the White House, and it continues to burn brightly. Like her or not, she remains a phenomenon to be reckoned with.

BroJoe

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I hope this posts correctly - pix included

 

HILLARY'S FIRST NIGHT AS PRESIDENT

in January 2009

 

Hillary Clinton gets elected President and is spending her

first night in the White House. She has waited so long......

The ghost of George Washington appears, and Hillary says,

"How can I best serve my country?"

 

Washington says, "Never tell a lie."

"Ouch!" Says Hillary, "I don't know about that."

The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...

Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"

Jefferson says,

 

"Listen to the people."

"Ohhh! I really don't want to do that."

On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...

Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"

Lincoln says,

"Go to the theater."

 
 
 


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Bro. Joe
Joyce

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Reply with quote  #13 
HA HA HA HA !  LOVE  IT!

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Joyce
moos

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Reply with quote  #14 
It's all funny - as is trying to visualize Terrence watching Oprah. . .

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Joan82

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Reply with quote  #15 

This is very funny!  I like the part about the Ted Kennedy Toasting

and the Free Sadam Rally with Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon

but I think Barbra Streisand and Hanoi Jane Fonda should also be included!  

 



 

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